Written by Special Guest, Tracey Milarsky, PhD
When schools and families move to remote services, everyone has to adjust. For students with complex support needs, that adjustment can be especially challenging. Services that once happened in classrooms, therapy rooms, or local settings may now take place through a screen, with family members often playing a different role in supporting participation. With this shift, educators and service providers should communicate clearly that the goal is not to make remote services look exactly like in-person services. Instead, we can ask a more useful question: How can we make remote services work for the student and family in front of us?
Family engagement is central to that process. Keeping families engaged means building relationships, reducing obstacles, and designing services that recognize families as partners with important knowledge about their children. The American Institutes for Research's discussion of meaningful family engagement describes meaningful family engagement as a partnership in which educators and families work together to design, plan, and implement programs and improvements that matter in the lives of children and families. Educators bring professional expertise to that partnership. Families bring something equally important: their lived experience.
Families experience educational services and systems in ways that professionals may not. They know their children within the context of everyday life. They know what motivates their children, what creates frustration, which routines work, and what obstacles make participation difficult. When services move remotely, that knowledge becomes especially valuable because educators may have fewer opportunities to observe students in the natural environments where learning and support typically occur.
Start With the Family's Priorities
One way to strengthen engagement is to start by asking families what matters to them. Families of students with complex needs may already be coordinating multiple services, appointments, school responsibilities, and daily routines. Remote instruction can add another stressful layer of responsibility. Rather than beginning with what the school needs the family to do, educators can ask what the family is experiencing. What would they like their child to do more independently? What is going well? What has been difficult? What would make participation easier? These questions recognize the family's expertise and lay the foundation for shared problem-solving.
“Families experience educational services and systems in ways that professionals may not. They know their children within the context of everyday life. They know what motivates their children, what creates frustration, which routines work, and what obstacles make participation difficult. ”
Frame Problems Together
When a student struggles with remote instruction, it can be easy to focus on behavior. A child may leave the computer, become frustrated with an assignment, or stop participating. However, these behaviors do not necessarily explain what is making participation difficult. The lesson may be difficult to sustain, the assignment may require skills the student does not yet have, or the family may be supporting several children at once. Looking at the concern more broadly allows educators and families to combine their knowledge. A family may know that a particular time of day is difficult, while an educator may recognize that an assignment could be presented differently. Together, they can consider changes to the lesson, schedule, assignment, or method of participation.
Make Participation Flexible
Remote services can take many forms. Some students may benefit from live video sessions, while others may need shorter sessions, recorded activities, visual supports, movement breaks, or asynchronous materials. The same flexibility should extend to families. Work schedules, caregiving responsibilities, technology access, and other demands can influence participation. A phone call may work better than a video conference, while a short voicemail or asynchronous update may be more practical for another family. The goal should be meaningful participation, not requiring every family to participate in the same way.
“The goal should be meaningful participation, not requiring every family to participate in the same way.”
Build Strategies Into Existing Routines
Remote services let providers see students in their everyday environments. These observations can reveal activities that motivate students or show when a recommended strategy does not fit the family's routine. Rather than creating additional tasks, providers can build learning into activities families already do. Families can practice communication skills during snack time, choice-making during meal preparation, or following directions during a new family activity or challenging routine transition. Families may benefit more from one small, practical change than from a long list of additional strategies.
Make Communication Two-Way
Meaningful engagement gives families opportunities to share what they see, ask questions, and influence decisions. A parent may explain that a student works better when assignments are broken into smaller parts, or a caregiver may identify a time of day that consistently creates difficulties. Effective remote services make room for this expertise and turn communication into action. When families identify obstacles, educators should consider what they can change. When families share successful strategies, educators can consider incorporating them into instruction. Listening becomes meaningful when it informs decisions.
Build Connection and Trust
Families are more likely to remain engaged when they feel respected, heard, and supported. If every interaction focuses on attendance, completed assignments, or whether a recommendation was followed, families may experience services as another source of evaluation. When participation becomes difficult, educators can begin by asking families what they are noticing. The school may not know about obstacles or aspects of the instructional format that are creating difficulties. Understanding the situation together allows the team to consider changes to lesson length, assignments, schedules, response methods, or opportunities for movement.
Reduce Technology Obstacles
Technology can create opportunities for connection but can also create obstacles. Internet access, device availability, unfamiliar platforms, communication needs, and difficulty navigating multiple applications can affect participation. Educators can reduce these obstacles by using consistent platforms, providing clear instructions, and sending materials in advance. Not every interaction needs to be synchronous; a recorded explanation, shared document, or brief phone call may accomplish the same purpose with fewer demands. Don't mistake difficulty with technology for a lack of family commitment. Technology should make participation easier and support the relationship between families and educators.
Engagement Is a Partnership
Effective family collaboration means meeting families where they are. Whether services are provided online, in person, or through a combination of approaches, families are more likely to engage when educators listen to their priorities, recognize their expertise, and develop solutions that fit their everyday life. The setting and tools may change, but the foundation remains the same: relationships, shared problem solving, flexibility, communication, and trust. The goal is not simply to get families to participate in remote services, but to create opportunities for meaningful participation that respect their circumstances and expertise.
“Effective family collaboration means meeting families where they are. ”
